Worst Film of the Decade

As I sort through my best of 2009 list, I looked back through my previous lists to see what I thought the best of the decade was. While I have not decided yet (post to follow), I do have a very definitive and clear cut worst film of the decade:

Crash.

No other film was more pretentious, contrived and flat out ridiculous than this piece of shit. Crash was a Herculean effort to be pseudo-intellectual which failed because it was in fact intellectually barren. White Chicks and Land of the Lost may be unwatchable, but they aren't trying to be important. Crash, for me, was an unintentional parody. Spoonfeeding the hacks who glorified it their own preachy rhetoric back to them. This is not real life. This isn't even make believe. This is some white liberal's view of dystopia. It's the most blatant slap in the face to every free thinking human being with any common sense ever put to screen. Even more than Michael Moore's Farenheit 9/11.

Sara Libby wrote a short piece at True/Slant called "Worst Movie of the Decade: 'Crash'." She said:

It's been called a "feel-good" racism movie -- one that leads people to believe they're on the right side of racism, when in fact they're just having their buttons pushed and their preconceived notions re-affirmed. [...]

Bad movies get made all the time. But what infuriated me about "Crash" was that so many people mistook it for something profound when it was truly the opposite. It shouts at the top of its lungs: "I'M SUBTLE! I'M NUANCED!" and so many people somehow agreed.

Ta-Nehisi Coates at The Atlantic wrote:

I don't think there's a single human being in Crash. Instead you have arguments and propaganda violently bumping into each other, impressed with their own quirkiness. ("Hey look, I'm a black carjacker who resents being stereotyped.") But more than a bad film, Crash, which won an Oscar (!), is the apotheosis of a kind of unthinking, incurious, nihilistic, multiculturalism. To be blunt, nothing tempers my extremism more than watching a fellow liberal exhort the virtues of Crash.

Scott Foundas wrote a review with the line,

Welcome to the best movie of the year for people who like to say, 'A lot of my best friends are black.'

Special Mention to Lady in the Water and Capote. And anything with a Wayans brother, including GI Joe - which broke my heart with how awful it was.